"Bad days come when the good day's gone
Working as hard as the day is long
And a working man works
when I get home"

WISHING I was working as hard as the day is long.

When you´re "living the dream" you usually leave no space for yourself to have bad days. To feel like shit. Part-time shit. (If only I could get payd for feeling part-time shit!)
Before coming I divided the hopes for my trip between failure and success: It will either be bad, or it will be good. How childish.

Eu esperava um sentimento, mas em qualquer lugar cada dia é um dia, como em casa.

In the adventure books, they cut off the parts where there´s no adventure at all.The boredom parts. Am I just waiting for something to begin?

Life´s always just a tad bit pushier. I got one job... but I need two.

My origins sting me, and I hate the fact that there´s no future without past. An ocean is aparently not away enough, and I stil feel like the stands cheer for the other team.

(This post is in english because I am ashamed of it.)

I love the view from my window, I love the streets I walk on, I love it when there´s a little bit of sun on the drops of rain that stick to the bare branches of the tree outside, I love the person I live with, I love the food I eat and the songs I listen to. I even love the ideas I have for the jobs I don´t get.

"All the freaks are on parade
I wanna fill my belly, so I gotta get paid
Doesn't everybody deserve to have the good life?
But it don't always work out
Cry cry baby, if we must
But Just remember, just remember
I love the way you move "

The hard thing is to admit hatred for some things that are almost part of my blood. Hating is such a disgusting feeling, that it makes me sad. Instead and above hatred, I feel sad. But then I get home and I have a friend I chose. - Chosen people have a value many don´t see.- And I have a mind of my own.

I am hereby allowing myself to have bad days. I am having a couple of fucking bad days. How could six months be made of the same material? Have you ever had a headache and lost the capacity to remember what NOT having a headache felt like? That´s what we do with periods of time, feelings and states of mind.

What´s this need to live everything now? What´s this time ticking as a deadline for enjoyment?
Just because I set aside a number of months for a certain experience, I´ve been counting down every moment of non-awesomeness as a moment lost of my few moments. I´ve been living putting myself in time-out for not having the minutes of my life.

(And on the oher hand... It feels like it will last forever.)

às vezes sinto saudades. mas elas vêm tingidas de ansiedade. Uma vontade desesperada de que eu volte satisfeita, tendo feito tudo. TUDO.

"I eat too much, I drink too much, I WANT TOO MUCH."

Amanhã, ou depois, ou depois de amanhã, eu terei pra contar as coisas que são o que amo em mim, os detalhes de beleza nos quais eu sei me concentrar, os diálogos e olhares cotidiextraordinarianos. Hoje eu não tenho nada. Só uma tentativinha de ter certeza que dor de cabeça não é pra sempre.

odeio que tudo dependa de mim, e odeio que nem tudo dependa de mim.

Mas vamos separar: isso é hoje. Amanhã eu aleluiamente não tenho a menor ideia do que vai ser.

"I like most liquor, but I don't like gin
Dont always like the skin I'm in
But when I get it wrong gotta start again...."

ok, praticidade: hora de escrever projetos para mandar pro IBRIT. wish me luck.

stay awesome. only when possible.